Update on Virginia and us

For those of you who did not get the email....

Dear friends and family

At this point we have been looking after Virginia for over three months ensuring that she is watched and cared for 24-7.  The end of August will mark three months that she has been officially on Hospice care.  Her strength continues to wain.  She has so little tone in her muscles that she cannot even sit on the edge of the bed; this is hard on her.  She realizes the reality of her situation, but she really hasn't come to the point of accepting it.  We are seen denial, anger and bargaining, but she has not come to full acceptance of her circumstances.  She has lucid days and other times she has trouble remembering where she is.  Her appetite has also dropped off.  She has trouble chewing and so she is limited to soft foods and liquids.  At times the nurses are convinced she is in her last days and then she'll bounce back and surprises them.   One nurse who visited her in the first weeks was surprised to hear that she was still with us.  I wonder sometimes if the Lord has her hanging around for some unfinished business.  

I talked to one of the nurses yesterday about her episodes of forgetfulness and imagining other people living with us and she said that is a result of her COPD.  It is called COPD dementia.  Even though she is on 4 litres of oxygen, her body isn't able to properly process out her CO2 and it builds up and causes problems.

Today is a bit of a sad day for her, Today her deceased husband's birthday.  Remembering that has brought tears and sobs.  Some how she briefly confused me with her deceased son as well, which brought more tears remembering that loss.

We continue to hang in there.  There are times that we get pretty tired, so at times,during the overlap of our shifts, one or the other will take a nap. One day AnnMarie took a brief nap with Alan when a friend stopped by for a visit. Lately Alan has been taking more of the naps as he recovers from the surgery he had two weeks ago.    It wasn't serious, but moving around tends to aggravate the surgical site.  It was such a blessing to have our niece Heather come up and give a few days relief so that he could have the surgery and start the healing process.  We have hired a young man from our church to take care of the yard work until Alan finishes his recuperation. God's grace continues to avail itself for us.  We continue to walk in His peace and His love.  

I don't think we have fully shared about what we experienced when Alan had heart attack like symptoms one Sunday last month.  Alan had been feeling rather tired that day when our friend Steve came over to give us a chance to go to church.  The weariness didn't want to lift, but Alan continued to press in believing that in worship he would find relief.  During the service he started to experience some pain and numbness in his left arm along with pressure in his chest.  He didn't have any difficulty in breathing though.  But AnnMarie was not aware of any of this until on the way out of church.  She asked what he would like for lunch and then he told her about the symptoms.  We decided to go to Base emergency as there would be no paperwork or bills to deal with.  On the way there we looked at each other at a stop light wondering if this might be our last moments on earth together and we both smiled.  We were just so thankful for each other and had no regrets.  It was strangely wonderful to walk in God's grace and have no fear in the face of potential loss and death.  As it turns out there was no heart attack.  Alan took a stress test (EKG while on a treadmill)  and all was normal.  His primary care doctor suspects it might have to do with his stomach or esophagus and wants to do a endoscopy.  He also seems to experience low oxygen levels while sleeping so next month he will be undergoing a sleep study to see if he suffers from apnea.  That is all we need another compressor running in the house.

AnnMarie continues to do well.  She is tired and would like an extended break but at the moment that does not seem possible.   The other night we ordered out for Chinese food.  It was a welcome change to our routine and quite tasty.  

We;thank you all for all the prayers and fond thoughts.  We also thank all of you who brought us meals.  Please feel to call us to say hello we would love to hear from you.  The best number to call is 702.255.8119, that is our home phone.  If you want to do a Skype call, send me a message at this email (preacheral1975@Gmail.com) and we can try to set up a time.  Alan normally comes on shift at 3:00 a.m. and is headed for bed about 7:00 p.m.  AnnMarie normally gets up before noon and is in bed shortly after Alan comes on shift.  The noon to 6:00 p.m. PDST (GMT -8) is the best time to call as usually both of us are available, that is if one of us don't go down for a nap.:)

Blessings, 

A&A